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Buddhism and The Booty-Call pt.5

October 28, 2012

But good sex should always come with the warning they put on side-view mirrors: OBJECTS MAY APPEAR CLOSER THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE. I began feeling close to Jeremy, in ways that made me feel like he was a man I could honestly see myself having a genuine relationship with.  I even dismissed the fact that in the back of my mind I think everyone who is completely sold out for the CSI is a screwball…some may be kind, funny, nice to be around screwballs but in the end, in my mind, they are still screwballs who if given enough time will always show you just how much of a screwball they actually are. How can you have a real relationship based on respect with someone you honestly think is a screwball? But damn I couldn’t get enough!

Turns out I was the screwball because Jeremy was getting exactly what he wanted, even though that concept only makes complete sense if the woman included in the equation doesn’t enjoy sex and is only engaging in it as a way to appease the man. Me on the other hand am not one of those prudish types of women and I was enjoying my Sealy-Serta time with Jeremy just as much, hell maybe even a little more than him. But what began to happen, is what usually happens to women. We have a difficult time severing the tiny invisible fiber that connects our vagina to our heart so I really started to like Jeremy regardless of how much of a screwball I considered he to be for believing every single thing the CSI had ever told him hook line and sinker. In a matter of weeks I had become genuinely enamored with this man. I just wanted to be where he was…smell his cologne…hear his voice…hear my phone make that text alert sound and hope he was sending me a text.   I wanted to get up and make breakfast for him and spend entire days with him.  I even considered chanting with him if that was what he really wanted and I murmured a few breathy diamoku once when we were, well, you know….

I know…I know…I even joked that he must be the CSI’s new secret weapon. Now they are trying to screw people back into the cult instead of all their other tactics. We had a good laugh about my sarcastic speculation…but I wonder….

He on the other hand showed no interest in any of these things.  Never time for breakfast, too busy to spend entire days, rising early to bird-bathe then make a b-line to his car before he would see any of my neighbors or any of his when he returned home. It was like having sex in a hardware store; he would SCREW, NUT, and then BOLT! …TO BE CONTINUED

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