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Takes One to k(NO)w One

July 26, 2011

I’ve been in an odd state of reflection since learning of Amy Winehouse’s death.


I really like her music.

I get the feeling I would have really liked her, as well.

Her music reminds me a lot of myself… always creative, often depressed, 1 too many unavailable men, and well, beers do come in a 12 pack so I just thought that meant you are supposed to drink all 12!


Listening to the post-mortem commentary has been…well, to borrow one of Amy’s own lyrics, “what kind of fu*ery is this?”


Oh, NOW everyone is all like, “yeah I saw it coming” or “dang, she just couldn’t shake the monkey” or “she’s in the 27 club with Hendrix and Joplin and Cobain”…etc.etc.etc.




If you saw it coming – what did you do?

When you see a train coming what to do you do? You catch it (dumbass).


If you knew there was a monkey – did ya bring any bananas?


If you know there’s an age 27 pattern – what were you doing, waiting to say, see I told you so?


Have any of you know it alls really listened to the lyrics to “Rehab” – the anthem that catapulted Winehouse to international acclaim? The song is not about her refusing to go, no, no NO! The song is about her knowing that she’s sad, that people are ignoring her and that people are full of shit!


“…I don’t never want to drink again…I just, ohh I just need a friend.”


Funny thing about “friends”, when you make them uncomfortable they tend to disappear. And what tends to make them uncomfortable are: sadness, grief, illness physical or mental, poverty, unemployment, underemployment, foreclosure, death of a loved one, end of a marriage…you know, all the things that can rarely be navigated without true friendship! Boy what a catch 22 or is that a catch 27 in this case?


I love a cocktail or 3, daily, but yesterday I chose not to have one, just to see if I could, in remembrance of Amy. I did it. But I also talked to my friends T and LT all throughout the day. I made weekend brunch plans with my friend J. I made breakfast plans with my friend A. I went to visit my friend C. I joked by text message with my friend JK. I even got another birthday card for a birthday that was nearly 2 weeks ago. In other words, my day was sans alcohol, but full of a variety of friendships. I felt loved. I felt understood.


How often to we feel love?

And more importantly how often do we make someone else feel loved?


“Didn’t get a lot in class – But I know it don’t come in a shot glass.” ~AW


3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 27, 2011 12:45 pm

    Ahh Sis such a moving tribute to AW. I was so upset by folks reaction to her death. Your post said it best “what did you do” I hope to always be a friend and always remain less selfish and more giving even in my own messes, because I don’t ever want to have to ask myself that question and the answer is nothing….RIP Amy!

  2. July 27, 2011 8:05 pm

    Oh Budda,

    the truth is the life of an addict is often lost on those who could allways say no. There is no love in the bottle of booze or pills. The hole in the addict is so large and odd shaped it takes something very large and as shaped to fill it.

    I cry in my heart for all the Amy’s looking for a way out. I know why the caged bird sings. It has to. Some times the music is sweet some times bitter, but it allways sounds like music.

    Call a friend and kiss a loved one. Make music and give without looking for anything in return. Allow something big to be the better part of your day..

  3. Bern Bero-bi permalink
    August 6, 2011 12:35 am

    I agree, the people who were supposed to have her best interest at heart, literally stood by and did nothing…just let her crash and burn. There is a psychological explanation as to why people stand by and watch a crisis without offering any assistance, however, I am pretty sure that bystander effect or Genovese syndrome was at the core of what was going on for this young lady.

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