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I Found the Cause and Cure for the Common Cold

January 17, 2011

Literally! I found a booklet first printed in 1963, written by metaphysician Raymond Charles Barker, titled, The Cause and Cure for the Common Cold.

Barker lists 10 Causes:

  1. A recent argument
  2. A recent injustice
  3. Emotional confusion
  4. Emotional hurts
  5. Emotional brooding
  6. Sudden rejection feeling
  7. Wanting to get out of an obligation
  8. Incomplete metaphysical projects
  9. Miscellaneous possible causes – i.e.: all negative emotions taken to heart in the last 10 days
  10. Attention getter

Wasn’t it some Buddhist dude who said, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear”? Well, finding this priceless .50 cents booklet could not have been timelier.

I HAVE A COLD.

Mystically, I found Barker’s little gem a few days before I felt that first annoying throat tickle. By the time the first sneeze blew through, I knew exactly why.

 It had nothing to do with exposure to the infected, or exposure to the elements, or lack of vitamins, or nutrition. In a word – ok in two words I was just PLAIN PISSED!

 First, there’s an attorney who’s been “Richard-ing” me around on a time sensitive legal matter. And second, I volunteered for a “Favor “ I didn’t really want to volunteer for doing.

 Six hours into the Favor – which I estimated at being a 10-hour favor that was quickly becoming a 36-hour favor, the attorney called, to close the curtain on any type of help I could expect from him – leaving only days to settle my legal endeavor without the counsel I was expecting from him.

 By the time I hung up the phone my voice was a mess of common cold laryngitis. I could not speak above a whisper. Get it?

 All the things I wanted to say,( for example: “ Mr. Attorney you are a…nother word starting with the letter A and so is your colleague who referred you who I trusted once upon a time but over the years have chose to ignore that the trust he earned 20 years ago has expired!  (Never really liked lawyer jokes until now… you know the ones like, How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to screw in the bulb and the rest of the firm to help pass the power company’s rate hike! Ah ha LOL! ) And, hey friend – if someone volunteers to paint your kitchen can’t you select one color instead of a hideous two-toned stripped pattern that’s going to take hours and hours over the estimated allotted time to complete?”) I could not say.

I wanted to scream obscenities at both of them at the top of my lungs, but I had no voice. Instead I had a cough – clogged sinuses – sneezing fits and a super sore throat.

 My favorite Brad Warner quote sums it up best. He says, “There’s this notion in Buddhism about saving all beings… it’s not about rescuing them, but about saving them from all the shit I would do to them!”

 Ah ha. LOL!

Cough. Cough.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Bern Bero-bi permalink
    August 6, 2011 12:02 am

    He he he he he Richarding…hahehehheheh

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