Chia Obama

Today is Friday, right? Which means last night was Thursday, and not Saturday, right?

I have to ask because last night (Thursday night) I was certain I was watching a “Saturday Night Live” spoof when I saw a television commercial for the “Chia Obama®”.

I kid you not! Ooooooh I’m pissed! WTF?

One of my first posts here was about focus groups – who gets to participate, who gets excluded…so who in the hell participated in the two way mirror dialogue that determined the marketing of the fugging “Chia Obama®” was a go?

It sure as hell wasn’t me!

Is it just me or is the “Chia Obama®” offensive? Absurdly offensive?

By the way last night was not only Thursday and not Saturday, but it was also April 2nd and not April 1st (April Fool’s Day) at first I thought this was an April Fools Day prank, albeit a prank in bad taste, but quickly I realized Joseph Enterprises, makers of Chia Pet® Products was serious. “Chia Obama®” is unacceptable.

Someone actually decided to mold a ceramic head to spread Chia seeds on to sprout into a pseudo Afro, then they took the bold ass liberty to name this piece of shit after the President of the United States of America?

Take if off the market and apologize to me, to my President and to my nation RIGHT NOW! Yes you can!

“Chia Obama®” conjures up painful reminders of the Gold Dust Twins, Aunt Jermima before the perm and the pearls and every other stereotypical Black American pejorative image once deemed appropriate for marketing consumption.

President Obama doesn’t even have the stereotypical Black man’s hair this stupid ass product implies. President Obama wears a close-cropped hair cut with little visible texture, but even if he had knotty dreadlocks cascading down his back the audacity of making a doll to cover with some kind of green sprouting plant to represent his hair is unacceptable.

“Chia Obama®” = NOT COOL. Sasha and Malia dolls = NOT COOL.
When will white people stop making themselves so goddamn familiar with shit they are not familiar with at all? You have no idea how deep the hair thing goes for Black people, or perhaps you do since you have been a major contributor to the divide since the Willie Lynch Letter (look it up).

If I had marketed a “Chia Jew” Pet, I’d be maligned as a racist, anti-Semitic asshole, even though that would be a more accurate depiction of the stereotypical hair the damn “Chia Obama®” represents. It would still be in bad taste, disrespectful, rude and wrong. And if President Obama just happened to be President Obamawitz, a damn Chia Pet® would not have even been considered a market-worthy option.

Patriotism my ass – this is capitalism gone rogue.

Joseph Pedott, president of Joseph Enterprises, makers of the Chia Obama® I’m waiting for your official apology. Yes you can.