Cult or Culture (part 15)
I was a baaaaaad-buddha-shut-yo-mouff-but-I’m-talkin-bout-Rouge-and-we-can-dig-it!
My diligence was repaid with two Culture Center Clutch leadership positions. First I was selected to be the Choke-Ya-Spirit leader. Choke-Ya-Spirit was a campaign the Culture Center Clutch started to choke the Buddha spirit out of some guys they said were not being “Buddhists” the right way and who were also being really mean to the man with the glasses. After a while they thought I had done such a good job, they decided I was ready to lead my own district…well A-A-Oh!
Not quite the happiness I was seeking but surely it could not be far off this time. I even reconnected with Evelyn in a different way. We seemed to talk almost every day. She was so proud of me. And she was proud of herself too – it spoke well of her own “Buddhist” practice to have her little shakubuku become a District Leader…holy smokes and gee whiz! Batman!
In my quietest moments I realized I was not so much trying to be a Buddhist that time, as I was trying to piss off God, whatever I perceived God to be – because my Mother had died.
Despite my numerous faith filled prayers for her recovery from a serious illness – which she did in fact seem to recover from – to the amazement of the medical community – answered prayer, right? She died anyway.
At the peak of what appeared to be an astounding and complete recovery, poof, my Mother was gone – dead.
Seriously, God? Really? Oh, that’s how you were going to play me – your good and faithful servant? WTF? When I allowed myself to safely have those thoughts I could see just how ridiculous my Culture Center Clutch actually was.
Armed with my new, open and acknowledged anger at God – whatever I perceived God to be and also armed with my sincere desire to embrace some kind of faith; I figured Buddhism would be a good place to start and I began to research Buddhism. I discovered…TO BE CONTINUED